Cartman vs The Da Vinci Code
by meninwhite
Summary: This time Kyle has had it! While looking for a way to get back he finds The Da Vinci with this he proves that Jesus is not devine and that Christianity is false with this the entire school exept Cartman converts to a dfferent religion.
1. The Da Vinci Code

Cartman v.s The Da Vinci Code

( at school everyone is to do a report on History didn't matter what it was)

Mrs. Garrison: Okay children the project is do tomorrow I really don't give a crap of what it is so..(Cartman raises his hand) Yes Cartman?

Cartman: Yes I have finished my report finished already can I read it?

Mrs. Garrison: Oh fine.

Cartman got up and pulled out his report

Cartman: Ahem Jews they suck ass and now for my hypothesis is Judean can kiss my ass and so can Kyle there evil spreads like rats in a swear that must show how evil they are and Jewish police men arrested Mel Gibson cause he said Jews are evil! Anyways…

Stan: Dude Mel Gibson is crazy he took crap on you!

Cartman: Fuck you Stan and know where was I ah yes (he continues until there is a minute left of class) and that's why history proves Jews suck!( Kyle was steamed and this and with an evil frown)

Mrs.Garrsion: Well done that's how I feel about Mexicans!

(The bell rang and everyone left Kyle who ran ahead of everyone was pissed!)

Kyle: THAT FAT ASS THAT JERK THAT…CHRISTAN!(He covers his mouth) What did I just say I said like Cartman did! But Still I'm pissed! Im always discriminated and shit and Mrs. Garrison wont do fuck! That's it screw the report on Italy! Ill find something that makes…(Suddenly an evil smile came on) Christians look bad!( He went to the South Park Library to find a book on how to make Christian look bad, he picked out the Crusades and The Inquisitio)

Kyle: Still I need some more WHAT DOES IT TAKE!

Librarian: SHHHHH!.

Kyle: Sorry I need something that proves Christians are bad.

Librarian: Oh right this way.

( She lead Kyle down a secret pass way and showed him the forbidden section)

Librarian: This book is forbidden but if you want to end Christianity here the Da Vinci Code!

Kyle: Thanks. (He went back up and began to read it in just two hours he was finished, when done he smiled evilly) This will teach Cartman this will teach all those Christians!

Next day of school started, With Cartman who cant wait to make fun of Kyle again his favorite part of the day

Mrs. Garrison: Okay who wants to start?

Kyle: I will Mrs. Garrison!

Mrs. Garrison: Okay

Kyle: My Report Christians are evil and Christianity is a hoax(Everyone was shocked)

Cartman:What! You Jews are evil!

Kyle: Shut up you stupid Christian!

Stan: Kyle what's gotten into you?

Kyle: Its my turn for revenge this song I made is about how Christians are evil hit it!

(Islamic music plays, as Kyle begins his dance then sings)

**So many times they that Christian are perfect and cool**

**but I have learned that Christians suck ass and totally drool!**

**Long ago they say that since Jew's killed Jesus that we suck and we are extinction, **

**But who was it that launched nine crusades and the inquisition it was... The Christians! **

**The only one who stood up to the church was my hero.. Dan Brown**

**And I believe that this will turn Christian smile into a frown!**

**( He passes the book to everyone and everyone is in shock exept Cartman who thinks its bull!)**

**Stan: Oh my god! I can believe that Christianity is a hoax a total fake**

**It was a commercial Bleep and for Europe's sake!**

**Butters: They put religions down cause they think there smart!**

**Token: No wonder that Islam is not on top they have such black hearts!**

**Kyle: We all think that other religions are evil but we wrong, we are wrong. **

**But the Buhdism has great peace and Saladin Kicked Richards dong!**

**All the kids: Over all we know that plain to seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**

**That Christianity is not for ME!**

**Cartman; THAT WAS BULL CRAP!**

**Mrs. Garrison Well done Kyle! You get an A! Cartman you get an F!**


	2. Stupid Catholic!

The Next day

(Cartman is walking to school the next day with a smile on his face)

Cartman: Kyle thinks he is so great in saying Christians are evil, I bet everyone in school has forgotten about it already: He walks in and to his great surprise the school was multi religion! He saw **Butters, Token and Clyde **reading the Koran and then put a Persian rug down and started praying, next he saw **Kenny, Timmy, Jason were reading how to be pacifist. Next he saw Wendy and some others who had robes on and meditating.**

**  
Cartman:(Worrying) Okay so Kyle managed to make a some of the school loses faith in the Catholics. But I'm sure Stan will…. OH MY GOD!(He saw with horror that Stan was reading with Kyle along with Bebe, Milly and Tweak the book of the Jews.**

**Cartman: Stan please tell me this isn't true!**

**Stan: Dude that book made me see the light and since Kyle's my best friend I well thought Judaism would be better.**

**Cartman: NO No NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!(He screamed they just looked and then left, Cartman ran to Mrs. Garrison)**

**Cartman: Mrs. Garrison there practicing religion in SCHOOL!  
**

**Mrs.Garssion: Well the governor of this town made it legal to practice any religion. And besides that book the Da Vinci Code is more inspirational than the Bible.**

**(The Class came in and Cartman said in his usual bitch voice)**

**  
Cartman: Guys this is all Jewish mind control.**

**Stan, BeBe, Milly and Tweak: HEY!**

**Kyle: Don't worry guys after all he is just a Catholic!**

**Stan: Yeah Catholics suck!**

**Butters: Yeah and Im sick of that damn fucking pope saying Islam is evil!**

**Clyde: Yeah its awesome no it's fucking awesome!**

Cartman: If you guys are MUSLIMS YOU SHOULD HATE JEWS!

Token: Not really Muslims in the medieval times were very tolerant of Jews read History fat ass catholic!

Kyle: All that time you called me a jew and belittled my people well now its my turn time for our series of Catholic bashing!

Stan: YOU'RE A STUPIED CATHOLIC!

Tweak: YOUURE A CATHOLIC!

Butters: SHUT YOUR DARN CATHOLIC MOUTH JERK!

Token: HAHA CATHOLIC!

Wendy: CATHOLICS SUCK ASS!

Cartman: THIS CANT BE HAPPING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!( He runs out of the school.)

Part 3 will come soon


End file.
